Once upon a time we had a precious baby named Eleni Laura Hauser. Our baby suffered a birth injury that caused severe global brain damage, resulting in many serious disabilities and ultimately her death.
During her life and even before her birth I shared my heart for her here. This page collects her story.
Note: Posts are ordered from most recent to oldest, so to read from the beginning, you'll want to scroll down...
In 2015, after a healthy pregnancy, I was eagerly anticipating Eleni’s birth. Like you, I was completely shocked when that joyous event turned tragic. What happened? What exactly went so terribly wrong? Here’s the story I can finally tell.
I spoke to her of Eleni when she was only days old. I remember standing before Eleni’s photos and the words I needed to say out loud, This is your sister, Eleni. I held my new, healthy baby close and felt how hard it would be to tell her this story when it mattered to her.
Some of my favorite quilts tell a story. They capture a moment of joy or pain or expectation. They bottle that feeling with color or shape or clearly distilled memories of time spent processing emotions, cloth in hand.
It has been an amazing six months with baby Elora. Today I'll share some reflections on what it's like raising a healthy baby after the tragic injury and loss of sweet Eleni.
Soon I had a pile of pieces too stained to keep, but too precious to throw away. They are ones that remind me of particular times. They are each a memory.
HIE stands for Hypoxic Ischemic Encephalopathy and refers to brain damage caused by lack of oxygen...
I caught a song from my friend. Mothers do that, of course. They catch songs from other mothers to sing to their children...
I wrote you last about Eleni at the close of 2015. We had a wonderful, wonderful week and a half. She was resting well for the first time...
I have been looking forward to writing this update because things have been looking up this month!
Becoming big brother and sister is often a rocky transition, but when baby is so different than what we've all imagined and prepared for...
I wonder if for me November has been a sort of turning point. There was a two week period when I felt happy again.
Oh, my friends, what a difficult time it's been! I wish I could bring you better news.
We are home from the hospital now... for the second time in two weeks. Eleni has had some sort of virus for about three weeks now.
Today Eleni is 6 months old. This morning I was a swirling pot of anger, resentment, despair; but, sitting down and letting some out helped some.
Today, in her blue eyes, I still see a pang of sorrow. Hers and mine. I also see the beauty that others see. And the injury too...
Alright, are you ready for another update? This has been such an eventful month for us. Eleni had two important tests...
I can hardly believe the places this journey is taking us. So much going on! Let's begin at the beginning... or at least where I left off.
It's odd how time contorts under pressure. It seems like so much more than 4 months of trauma - the shock, the worry, the tears...
It arrived on Friday, a big squishy package from my dear friend, Jodi. I knew what I'd find inside, and I got exactly this far, then stopped.
It seems miss Eleni was rather uninspired by the prospect of a photo shoot this morning. She fell right asleep, so I rolled her over and decided...
So much has changed. The things I used to do, I don't. I don't have time to walk with friends, follow my favorite blogs...
I got the idea from my friend, Ara Jane, to document my baby's growth on a fresh yard of fabric every month.
When it feels like everything is breaking, when your pain is so raw that it can't be hidden away...
Good news - Eleni came home on Sunday! Has it really been just three days? I feel a world keeps passing with each day...
I thought you might like a little update on Eleni. Since we last talked she has been stable in the NICU and seems to move her body more...
I am often struck as I come across it again, confronted and disoriented with the strange reality that my baby was just fine, totally fine at that time.
Thank-you for your loving thoughts and prayers. I just wish I could bring you better news. Most of all, I wish all this love could heal her.
Friends, As many of you have likely guessed, miss Eleni did make her appearance this weekend. However, things did not go at all as planned.
Can there be justice when your child’s life has been stolen by caregivers who didn’t seem to care? No, not really. Is there justice possible for Eleni, who knew so much suffering in her short life? Never. But there can be accountability, apology, recompense and financial support for the cost of those grevious mistakes.