Tuesday, April 8, 2014

ponderings

It seems to me there are many things in life that must be built up bit by bit, without the pleasure of reassurance, without the swagger of sure progress.  These things are hoped for, not certain.  I don't mean the pie-in-the-sky kind of wishes, but the hopes that must be fed over time by little faithful actions and trusting deposits of love and time.

Like teaching a child to read.  Hours upon hours learning letter sounds, picking away at words on the sofa, encouraging, smiling, celebrating the little victories, while holding out hope inside for the moment when he reads ordinary books for fun, all on his own.

stringy beginnings

Like making a scrap quilt.  Pressing and trimming and joining and measuring, stuffing that sinking feeling that it may disappoint, trying not to notice just how slow it goes, while holding out hope that the seed idea will miraculously appear in the cloth someday soon and become a quilt used and loved.

Like trying to get pregnant.  Taking those prenatals day after day, carefully charting temperatures (amongst other things, ahem), adding more supplements, watching one's diet just in case, trying not to obsess, wanting to make smart choices, while holding out hope that someday that darn test will be positive and a sweeter journey will begin.

critical mass

And then it comes.  Maybe it's magic?  Maybe it's critical mass?  All those deposits weren't for nothing, even if you couldn't see progress along the way.  Whatever did it you'll never know, but the important thing is it arrives.  That's all that matters.

No I'm not pregnant... yet, but I am inspired today by the way this quilt took me by surprise, reaching a scrappy critical mass that turned it from "maybe" to "exactly" so satisfyingly. 

Hope.  Faith.  Little faithful actions and trusting deposits of love and time....

32 comments:

  1. Rachel, I love your beautifully heartfelt posts. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that ALL of your deepest wishes come true!

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  2. 1) that quilt is beautiful! Love seeing the progress and your vision come to fruition piece by piece.
    2) as someone who uses nfp, I especially appreciated your "ahem" comment. Other things, indeed!
    3) we're all pulling for you and this pregnancy! You're a beautiful mother and I pay God blesses you soon with another child.

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  3. I have been thinking more and more about how hope is a living thing lately (1 Peter 1:3), and this post really captures the idea!

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  4. I read so many blogs, so many quilting blogs. So much email. So much to do. But your blog is my very favorite...your loveliness shines through and I am so inspired by you. My best wish for you and a pregnancy. It will be a lucky child indeed. Stay strong and keep up your excellent work.

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    1. I don't deserve half the sweet things folks sometimes say about me, but I do SO appreciate that you all are pulling for me. I am truly encouraged by your company. Most of all, I'm thankful that you accept that I share these personal thoughts here too.

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  5. If we step back and see how many of Life's lesson are in this wonderful passion that we all share. Allot of the worlds struggles would be overcome! Keep the Faith!

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  6. Beautiful words, Rachel. I've been thinking of you so much. I'm sorry it didn't happen this month.

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  7. Nope. I have no patience for ANY of that. Least of all, my past fertility 'issues.' I know immediately what you meant by "ahem." I feel your pain. You are WAY more patient than me. I applaud all of your 'projects.' ;) Now back to that reading thing....doesn't it just magically 'happen' one day, like talking ? !?! ;)

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  8. The quilt is beautiful, and your writing too, as always. :)

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  9. Exactly beautiful!!!! I love this one!!!!

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  10. Love this and love the quilt. I will keep you in my prayers tonight. :)

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  11. Been there, done that! Doing that... Ahem. Loved this post!

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  12. Rachel, I too, read many many blogs - quilting and otherwise - and there is just something uniquely special about yours - and that would be.....you. :) This post is so beautiful and truth full. The Lord has truly gifted you as a writer, a teacher, and a quilter for starters. Thank you for sharing your gifts, your thoughts, your heart with us all. May The Lord fill you with His indescribable peace, joy and contentment as you wait for uncertain things with great hope!

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  13. super scrappy! really lovely, Rachel. lovely thoughts, too. oh, that reading one - don't I know it well. still hoping for you and that baby. big hugs as you persevere. =)

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  14. The waiting. I never knew how much impatient I was till I had to wait and wait and wait for what I thought would just happen. (Ahem ;)) Now our waiting (again!) is turning into something new. Thankful for God's mercy to my poor impatient soul.

    Wait, wasn't this about me? Ha. Anyway, I love your imagery. Deposits of love are all we can give and your attitude is so inspiring. Thank you for sharing!

    (May He turn your waiting into rejoicing)

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    1. Thank-you, Jeni. And, yes, this was about you and about all of us. We all wait and hope for things, sometimes things we're not even aware we're waiting for. I'm glad it connected with you!

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  15. This quilt is going to be awesome!

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  16. Those little cheeky monkeys come along often when least expected, but when he or she does, how lucky for them that they were so hoped for and loved so much already :)

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  17. I can't put into words why your post today made me cry, but I do hope and pray that your hope sees you through all the *ahem* and that you will have your surprise soon.
    E xxx

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  18. I loved making my strip quilt...it maybe too late, but remember to alternate the way you sew the strips or you might end up with a wonk like I did.
    I know there's more strip quilts in me, they're so homely xx

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  19. What a balanced sentiment. Patience and hope, and joy in the now.

    And thanks for the heads up on the fabric sale! I have just purchased three yards of voile, perhaps destined for a few skirts and maybe a dress or two for my 2 year old niece :)

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  20. I love your scapy quilt! It reminds me of spring showers. :)

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  21. Rachel, I love your creative pursuits AND your thoughts...are you still planning a sewing retreat? I'm in.

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    1. Thanks, Lily. No, I'm not planning a retreat. I decided to heed my instinct to go as easy on myself as possible this spring/summer,, simplifying and reducing stress. It would have been fun though! I'll keep it in mind for another season of my life.

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  22. I also love reading your blog. You are a wonderful writer and I love how you make a connection between every day life and quilting. I hope you won't have to wait much longer for your dream to become a reality.
    I love that quilt! I have a bag full of strips that would make a lovely scrap quilt. Thank you for always inspiring me!

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  23. Your post really touched me today, as well. You are a beautiful writer and I very much appreciate how you connect the reality of life's struggles with our passion for quilting. Thank you for reminding me of HOPE....I've been finding it again recently myself as we find ways to support our daughter struggling with mental illness.....SPRING and SUNSHINE after a looooong winter....and now the image of a scrappy quilt and all the "little pieces" and efforts we put into every day life. THANK YO!U

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  24. i truly hope one day you will become pregnant. my wishes are for you

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  25. So true. I've often thought that about raising a child. Such a long, daily journey. And so many unknowns as to the outcome. Just the call to be faithful each day. I'm glad your quilt have you hope today. Praying, praying. Xx

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  26. Just found your blog... Love your thoughtful posts and LOVE your color and fabric choices! By the way, Scrap quilts are the BEST!

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  27. Such lovely words and that last line is pure poetry.

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